Warning......rant ahead.

*This is advanced warning that this post is going to be a bit of a rant.*

As you may have gathered my eating and exercising habits have been way out of whack during the past few months,and as a result of that I have gotten a bit squashy as I have lost muscle tone and I have also put on about 3 kgs of fat. I knew this and I have been trying really hard in the past few weeks to get my shit together again.

Well, my sister has a friend who is about 5 foot nothing and is pushing 160kgs in weight and she said to my sister that I had put on heaps of weight!!!!!!!!!! The cheek of some people!!!! Holy Shit!!!
When my sister told me this (cause she tells me everything) I went ape shit I was so annoyed, why does she think she has the right to say anything?!?!

Now I am really annoyed because that has got in my head now, and even though I have got the food and exercise back on track, I can hear her voice saying "ewww fattie" "look at the state of you" and I really need to change the voice in my head.................getting it off my chest has actually been good.

Grant me serenity..

....I had decided that I was going to clean up my eating last week and stop eating so much CRAP, welly well well well................that didn't happen as well as I would of liked it too.

I ended up getting sick and was feeling really rubbish on Tuesday so we had takeaways (oopsie #1) as well as being sick the kids were utter little butt heads so I ended up cooking what they would eat with the least amount of resistance and then on Friday I was working and the man child was at his work do so grandies had the kids I got home at 8 and the MC got home at 8.30 soooooooooooo we had takeaways again(oopsie#2).

I am going to go to bed now before I consume my body weight in chocolate....it either that or bang my head against a wall.

This blog is like an abandoned child...

Good morning Internet peoples, sorry I have neglected you since JULY, I knew it was bad but not that bad.

What been going on in my world?? Well I have finished up my study for the year and I think that I have done pretty well in it, towards the end of the semester I was starting to get a bit over it, the kids kept getting sick so I wasn't sleeping well and it seemed like the tutors at tech had given up on us and were just showing up for lectures so that they could get paid.  But that being said I have really enjoyed the year.

I have been eating sooooooo badly even though I know better, lollies and chippies and bread and potatoes...very little or NO veges. I knew that the weight was creeping back on but no body had said anything about it until last night when my husband said "I think you need to go back to the gym" and hes right, so I am taking this week to get back in to my rhythm of meal prepping and no junk food and hopefully by the end of next week I will be sorted again.

Also now that I have time I am going to aim to update this blog more regularly, because it does actually help keep me on track.

Blast! review

Hi peoples! This week I am reviewing Blast,which is just a step class with a different name. 

What are my thoughts on this class...........well personally I hated it, it wasn't the intensity of the class I didn't like I think that its because of the way its delivered. I think I might go and do the same class at another gym with a different instructor and see if that makes a difference.

Overall its quiet high intensity and I was sweating profusely(always a good sign) within a pretty short amount of time. I think this class might be pretty daunting for beginners because theres a lot of fancy foot work and hands, and if you are anything like me feet and hands and trying to learn something new doesn't always work out well.

I ended up getting in an argument with the instructor after this class because for the 12 week challenge I have a little passport that I have to get signed off by the instructor after every class I attend, my trainer and I made a deal that I could count cross fit as one of mine even though technically its not group fitness ,well this lady went off her tits at me telling me no I couldn't count it and I was disqualified from the challenge and blah blah and I would have to make it up with another class, jeez she made me so angry normally I would of told her where to stick it, but I was feeling zen that day so just walked away.

HA!

Every once in a while I transfer the photos from my phone on to the laptop, while I was doing it today I came across this pearla 

ha ha ha ha ha ha attractive, I'm gonna be fighting the dudes of with a stick. HA!

Next Class Review.

This week I did CROSS FIT!!!! ,ended up getting in to an argument with the group fitness instructor about whether or not I can count it as one of my classes but more about that later. Unless you have been living under a rock for the past couple of years you will probably know what Cross fit is, but if you don't basic run down is functional movements at high intensity doing AMRAP(as many reps as possible).

Not the video I wanted but general gist is there.

What did I think of it? I can definitely understand where all the hype for it comes from, I LOVED IT!!!!!!!!

I think because its functional movements that everyone can do and you can adjust it to your level of fitness.I attended an intro class with my cousin,Mel, and in an intro class you do a basic warm up and then you do a WOD(workout of the day) the one we did was thrusters,box jumps,push ups,pull ups and 100 meter sprints we had to see how many sets we could do in 10 minutes, I did 4 and a bit!

Would I do it again? Hard to say from the point of view of needing to add something extra to my fitness regime,yeas I would go again...from the point of view of a baby personal trainer probably not,the chance of injury is just to high because the focus is on AMRAP and not necessarily on proper form.

Another thing that might put people of is the cost of it $50.50 a week, given you can attend as many times as you want in that week but for some people they would only be able to go once which makes it a total rip.

And heres a after photo, may not look it but my cheeks were so red and hot and I was really sweaty.Also being unsafe and taking pics while I was driving!

OK next review is Group Blast and more details about the argument I had.

Group Power Review.

You may remember that previously I had said that I was doing a challenge and I had to attend 1 group fitness class a week. The first class I attended was Power. Basically it is weights at medium/high intensity.

What did I think of it?

 Mmmmmm, I enjoyed it and would do it again, but I found it quiet easy. That was probably because I was using low weights, another thing was because it involves a lot of squats it was aggravating my knee injury which caused me to use poor form  to preserve my range of movement.

Some people I have meet absolutely RAVE about it, but honestly I thought it was pretty mediocre, fun way to pass an hour but there are better things out there.

Skeletons in the closet

*Warning heavy post coming up*

Today I got asked if I was ever bullied at school and the answer is yes, biggest and easiest target always gets taken down first dont they.

When I was in college there was a group of girls the same age as me and they absolutely tormented me they were the most vial stuck up little cows that anyone will ever have the displeasure of meeting....... if its not obvious in my writing this question dragged answers out of me that I had pushed pretty much right out of my life, they were in the dumpster out the back ready to be taken to the dump.

Not only did these girls torment me physically they also messed me up mentally, I withdrew from life basically I participated in things but at the lowest level possible, I had(and still have) a hard time trusting people and in the end I decided fuck people(theoretically,not literally) and I would be a horrible horrible bitch to everyone so that no one could ever get close enough to hurt me. 

I had no self confidence and would very rarely look anyone in the eye, I thought that I wasnt interesting or even good enough for anyone to talk to, stooping over like this has lead to me having poor slouchy posture and actually developing a lump on the back of my neck, which with help from my personal trainer we are starting to reverse it. 

And the nailer of it all was I was being picked on because not only was I taller than everyone else I was fatter than everyone, so I coped with feeling shit by eating and eating and eating. We never really had crap food at home when I was growing up and we didnt really have takeaways a lot....maybe once a week, and I in no way blame my parents for the situation I got in to (i love my parentals) it was totally my own fault come home from school and sit on my ass and eat, and I guess it goes to show its not WHAT you are eating but HOW MUCH you are eating which truly effects your weight.

After leaving school it took me a long time to realise that it doesnt matter what people that arent important in your life think of you. I realised these girls were insignificant little gnats whose own lives were probably so shit that they needed an easy target to take it out on. I now talk myself up A LOT which probably annoys the crap out of my loved ones, but positive self talk is amazing...............I have a really really good friend that I used to tell how good looking I was and he used to just go along with me, sounds silly but it really helped me and it gives you a glow.

I know this post is probably really rambling and ranting and kinda hate filled as well, so simply my message is.....if you are getting bullied remember you are BETTER than what they are, you are STRONGER than what they are and in the big picture they are WORTHLESS.

#smallthingmakemesmile and #smallthingsamusesmallminds

Hee hee I found this picture of me from agggggggggggggges ago and posted it on Facebook, and instead of recognizing it as me it asked if I would like to tag my friend?

Every now and then when my motivation dips I like to do things like this to remind myself of how far I have come and do I want to go back to that?.....................and the answers is always "OH HELL NAW"

I also have a newly found fondness of stupid face selfies.

Like this handsome number #smallthingsamusesmallminds.

Famous.......

Sorry for being a slack blogger I know I promised I wouldn't be,but stuff happens.

I recently wrote a short assignment abou my weight loss for a national website and they actually published it!!! I am feeling like a bit of a celebrity.

Heres the link if curious.

http://www.stuff.co.nz/stuff-nation/assignments/fighting-fat-in-new-zealand/10104171/At-144kgs-something-clicked

Also I did a 5km run a few weeks ago and managed to run most of it woohoo!!!

Starting Again...............

Hi everyone out there in Internet land!

So this blog is going to be dedicated to my crazy adventures in losing the last few kilo's that have stubbornly been holding on for the past year. I previously had a blog that was about the main part of my weight loss mission and my time with weight watchers, as I started moving away from the weight watchers principles and looking in to clean eating a paleo the blog died a slow horrible death until I finally deleted it at the start of this year.

So where to begin 3 years ago this was me

 I was 144 kilos probably more being honest, I couldn't walk far , I was a horrible horrible person to be around and ended up pushing people away leaving me with very few friends.

I joined weight watchers and slowly muddled my way through

And did some cool stuff along the way like a 5km fun run/walk entered my first 1/2 marathon(and finished) did a 20 km ocean race in the waka. And the biggest thing is I lost 50 kilograms and ended up looking pretty damned good. 

I am also now studying Diploma in Applied Fitness with my end goal of that being that I become a personal trainer and can help people that are like what I used to be like.

So as a follow on from what I am studying and interested in I use myself as a test subject quiet a bit and this week I have decided to try doing a juice fast over the weekend 2 days maybe 3 max and see how it goes.

I found this website www.juicerecipes.com and have decide that this is what I am having for breakfast tomorrow http://juicerecipes.com/recipes/fruity-punch-twist-60 

And hopefully now that I have a blog again it might work as another form of motivation for me.

Right I'm out for now, hope this has been okay reading.